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Amusing Quotes

Various

Big Ron

'It was that boring I switched over to watch Porridge on the other side.'

'I would not say that he (David Ginola) is one of the best left wingers in the Premiership, but there are none better.'

'They've come out at half time and gone bang.'

'[Phil Neville] was treading on dangerous water there...'

'I've had this sneaking feeling throughout the game that it's there to be won...'

'I would also think that the replay showed it to be worse than it actually was.'

'I think that was a moment of cool panic there.'

'Beckenbauer has really gambled all his eggs.'

'If Glenn Hoddle said one word to his team at half time, it was concentration and focus.'

'They must go for it now as they have nothing to lose but the match.'

'Woodcock would have scored, but his shot was too perfect.'

'He's not only a good player, but he's spiteful in the nicest sense of the word.'

'Tony Adams - he's the rock that the team has grown from.'

'...and he [Peter Schmeichel] extends and grows even bigger than he is.'

'They've done the old-fashioned things well; they've kicked the ball, they've headed it...'

'They've picked their heads up off the ground, and they now have a lot to carry on their shoulders.'

'Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.'

'He sliced the ball when he had it on a plate.'

'I'm afraid they've left their legs at home.'

'The keeper was unsighted - he still didn't see it'

'Zero-zero is a big score.'

Kevin Keegan

'It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card.'

'The ref was vertically 15 yards away.'

'There are two schools of thought on the way the rest of this half is going to develop; everybody's got their own opinion...'

'Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late twenties or thirties.'

'This could be a repeat of the final.'

'The game has gone rather scrappy as both sides realise they could win this match or lose it.'

'I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona.'

'England can end the millenium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world.'

'They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different'

'Despite his white boots, he has real pace...'

'You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw...'

'He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted.'

'There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight.'

'...using his strength. And that is his strength, his strength.'

'One of his strengths is not heading' (of course, one of Keggy's strengths is not talking)

'Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice.'

'I'm not disappointed - just disappointed.'

'The tide is very much in our court now.'

'Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose.'

'That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved.'

'I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different.'

'A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm - and it nearly came off.'

'The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game'

'The substitute is about to come on - he's a player who was left out of the starting line-up today.'

'That decision, for me, was almost certainly definitely wrong.'

'I know what is around the corner - I just don't know where the corner is. But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon.'

'Hungary is very similar to Bulgaria. I know they're different countries...'

'In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg.'

'The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful.'

'England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none'

'It's understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney.'

'I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time.'

'It could be far worse for me if it was easy for me.'

'Discipline is not only very important, it's crucial.'

'Young Gareth Barry - he's young'

'Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America.'

'They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that.'

'You don't get two chances at this level, or at any other level for that matter.'

'You're not just getting international football, you're getting world football'

'Kanu, a guy with a heart as big as he is'

'Luis Figo is totally different to David Beckham, and vice versa'

'Football's always easier when you've got the ball'

'They don't come every three days, like they come after this one'

'I want more from David Beckham. I want him to improve on perfection.'

'The tide is very much in our court now.'

'There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who definitely won't be playing tomorrow.'

'We have spent three matches chasing a football.'

'It's no longer an 11 man game.'

'The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23'

'For some it's the ultimate job, for the others it's the last job.'

'I've had an interest in racing all my life, or longer really.'

'We managed to wrong a few rights.'

'We are three games without defeat is another way of looking at it. But if we are honest we have taken two points from nine'

'He'll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he'll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field.'

'Danny Tiatto is not going to make a mistake on purpose'

'I'll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again'

Bobby Robson

Shola’s nicked name:

Reporter to Newcastle's Shola Ameobi: 'Do you have a nickname?'
Ameobi: 'No, not really'
Reporter: 'So what does Bobby Robson call you?'
Ameobi: 'Carl Cort.'

Sir Forgetable:

Alan Brazil: "I'm delighted to say we've got Sir Bobby Robson on the
end of the phone, fresh from getting his knighthood at Buckingham Palace.
Bobby, terrific news."

Sir Bobby Robson: "What is?"

Brazil: "You know, getting the old sword on the shoulder from Prince
Charlie."

Sir Bob: Eh? [Long pause] "Oh yeah... well, it was a day I'll never
forget."

Who’s name is it anyway?:

Sir Bobby to Bryan Robson: “Good morning, Bobby.”
Bryan: “You’re Bobby, I’m Bryan!”

“Andy O'Brien has an horrendous nose, the poor lad. It is massive, it is black and blue and it is awful.” – Getting personal.

“Titus looks like Tyson when he strips off in the dressing-room, except he doesn't bite. And he has a great tackle." - On Titus Bramble, we think the ‘tackle’ referred to was his defensive qualities.

"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought"
- After England sneaked through against Cameroon in the 1990 World Cup.

"Hitler didn't tell us when he was going to send over those doodlebugs, did he?" - On why he was refusing to name his England team before a World Cup qualifer against Sweden in 1989

"We're taking 22 players to Italy, sorry, to Spain... where are we, Jim?"
- On whether Paul Gascoigne should have gone to the 1998 World Cup in France.

"There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game that they lose."

"Steve Hodge has been unfit for two weeks, well, no, for 14 days."

"Ray Wilkins' day will come one night."

"Tottenham have impressed me: they haven't thrown in the towel even though they have been under the gun."

"Look at those olive trees. They're two hundred years old – from before the time of Christ!" - Sir Bobby illustrates how great life is in Barcelona.

"If we invite any player up to the Quayside to see the girls and then up to our magnificent stadium, we will be able to persuade any player to sign." – Playing up Newcastle’s Playboy image.

"They can't be monks - we don't want them to be monks, we want them to be football players because a monk doesn't play football at this level."
- Justifying Newcastle's Playboy image.

"They're two points behind us, so we're neck and neck."
"I'd say he's the best in Europe, if you put me on the fence"

"I played cricket for my local village. It was 40 overs per side, and the team that had the most runs won. It was that sort of football."

"If we start counting our chickens before they hatch, they won't lay any eggs in the basket."

"I would have given my right arm to be a pianist."

"What can I say about Peter Shilton? Peter Shilton is Peter Shilton, and he has been Peter Shilton since the year dot."

"I'm not going to look beyond the semi-final - but I would love to lead Newcastle out at the final."

“Home advantage gives you an advantage.”

Various

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?"

(STUART HALL, Radio 5 Live) "Unfortunately, we keep kicking ourselves in the foot."

(RAY WILKINS, speaking on BBC1) "I've got a gut feeling in my stomach. . ."

(ALAN SUGAR, speaking on BBC1) "The new West Stand casts a giant shadow over the entire pitch, even on a sunny day."

(CHRIS JONES, Evening Standard) "I would not say he [David Ginola] is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better."
(RON AKTINSON in a TV interview) "Johnson has revelled in the 'hole' behind Dwight Yorke. . ."

(Carling FA Premiership WWW Page) "An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal."

(DAVE BASSETT, speaking on Sky Sports) "Both sides have scored a couple of goals, and both sides have conceded a couple of goals."

(PETER WITHE, speaking on Radio 5 Live) "What's it like being in Bethlehem, the place where Christmas began? I suppose it's like seeing Ian Wright at Arsenal...."

(BRUCE RIOCH, ITV) "And I suppose they [Spurs] are nearer to being out of the FA Cup now than at any other time since the first half of this season, when they weren't ever in it anyway."

(JOHN MOTSON, BBC) "I never make predictions, and I never will."
(PAUL GASCOIGNE) "And there's Ray Clemence looking as cool as ever out in the cold."

(JIMMY HILL) "....and the news from Guadalajara where the temperature is 96 degrees, is that Falcao is warming up."

(BRIAN MOORE) "If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same thing again."

(TERRY VENABLES) "The Uruguayans are losing no time in making a meal around the referee."

(MIKE INGHAM) "I think that was a moment of cool panic there."

(RON ATKINSON) "Beckenbauer really has gambled all his eggs."

(RON ATKINSON) "Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve."

(JOHN GREIG) "It's headed away by John Clark, using his head."

(DEREK RAE) "Tottenham are trying tonight to become the first London team to win this Cup. The last team to do so was the 1973 Spurs side."

(MIKE INGHAM) "He's very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him."

(BOBBY ROBSON) "The game is balanced in Arsenal's favour."

(JOHN MOTSON) "Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different."

(TREVOR BROOKING) "You have got to miss them to score sometimes."
(DAVE BASSETT) "Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead."

(TOM FERRIE) "A contract on a piece of paper, saying you want to leave, is like a piece of paper saying you want to leave."

(JOHN HOLLINS) "And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley. . . unless somebody knocks us out."

(DAVE BASSETT) "It was that game that put the Everton ship back on the road."

(ALAN GREEN) "Bobby Robson must be thinking of throwing some fresh legs on."

(KEVIN KEEGAN) "What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponents goal."

(JIMMY HILL) "Celtic were at one time nine points ahead, but somewhere along the road, their ship went off the rails."

(RICHARD PARK) "That's football, Mike, Northern Ireland have had several chances and haven't scored but England have had no chances and scored twice."

(TREVOR BROOKING) "...and so they have not been able to improve their 100% record."

(SPORTS ROUNDUP) "In terms of the Richter Scale this defeat was a force eight gale."

(JOHN LYALL) "In comparison, there's no comparison."

(RON GREENWOOD) "I would also think that the action replay showed it to be worse than it actually was."

(RON ATKINSON) "Mirandinha will have more shots this afternoon than both sides put together."

(MALCOLM McDONALD) "Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins."

(BRIAN MOORE) "Football's not like an electric light. You can't just flick the switch and change from quick to slow."

(JOHN GREIG) "Certain people are for me and certain people are pro me."

(TERRY VENABLES) "I'm going to make a prediction - it could go either way."

(RON ATKINSON) "And with 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0."

(IAN DARK) "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."

(DAVID ACFIELD) "What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio"

(GERRY FRANCIS) "If we played like this every week, we wouldn't be so inconsistant"

(BRYAN ROBSON) "If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated footballers."

(MICK LYONS) "He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head."

(DEREK JOHNSTONE) "The crowd think that Todd handled the ball.... they must have seen something that nobody else did."

(BARRY DAVIES) "I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel"

(STUART PEARCE) "They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Highway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different."

(KEVIN KEEGAN) "Glen Hoddle hasn't been the Hoddle we know. Neither has Bryan Robson."

(RON GREENWOOD) "There's no way Ryan Giggs is another George Best. He's another Ryan Giggs."

(DENIS LAW) "The only thing I have in common with George Best is that we come from the same place, play for the same club and were discovered by the same man."

(NORMAN WHITESIDE) "I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."

(RON ATKINSON) "I don't think there is anybody bigger or smaller than Maradona."

(KEVIN KEEGAN) "The minute's silence was immaculate, I have never heard a minute's silence like that."

(GLENN HODDLE) Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think Germany has got of getting through?"
Terry Venables: "I think it's fifty - fifty."